Roommate Expert is here to help you with the problems and challenges of being a roommate.
Also to help prepare for being a roommate, if you haven’t done it before.
Writers
Hi, My name is Ian Taylor
I shared a room in college and was a roommate with one of my best friends for seven years.
Also rented out my apartment and help a couple of my friends rent out their rooms.
Senior Writer: Lisa Aharon
Lisa believes we should use our life experiences to help others via shortcuts to theirs. So, when she’s not doing yoga or playing with her grandkids, Lisa is busy writing.
Lisa has lived with roommates in the Middle East, the UK, and the US.
Kamie Allen
My name is Kamie Allen. I’ve been writing since I first picked up a pencil, but I’ve been a professional writer for the past 7 years.
I spent several years in college living with a roommate, so I feel like I can give expert advice on living with them.
Mary Innes
Having lived with roommates, friends, and significant others in California for over 40 years, I’ve learned a thing or two about keeping the peace at home.
I believe that getting along with the people we live with is the beginning of world peace! Besides being a roommate, I’m a freelance writer who enjoys the outdoors, loves good books, and appreciates clear thinking and kindness. I enjoy learning as I go and sharing what I know.
Richard Farrell
I shared a room as a fresher at university, and for a few years after I started working. Between the two I shared a bungalow with 23 other solders in the army, but that’s another story unsuitable for delicate ears!
Celine Francisco
Having steady roommates herself (she has two!), she finds it interesting uncovering the deepest dilemmas of roommates and trying to creatively provide solutions for those.
Shem M
I have lived with different roommates back in the college years…and will live to tell the tale. On my off-time, I enjoy swimming, traveling, watching soccer (I’m an F1 fan too), and playing basketball.
About the site, the following is written by Ian
This site has all that I have learned from my experiences, those of my friends, people I have interviewed and lots of online research.
Thank you to the many people who have let me interview them, where they gave the information to make this site possible.
What the site is for
Roommate Expert is to help people get the most from being a roommate. Also, help people who rent out rooms.
I have loved being a roommate; it has stopped me from being alone, saved loads of money and created some great ‘urban family’ type relationships.
However, for people who have not chosen the right roommate, or not known how to live with a roommate, it can be hell.
There are so many challenges, and lots can go wrong, but that’s where this site is here to help.
Both friends and I have had many of these problems and had to find solutions. A lot of the issues brought up on this site come from mine and their experiences and need to find answers. It has also required a lot of online research, reading books and interviewing people to find them.
Many of my friends have rented out rooms in their apartments for many years. They have also been a great source of advice and information for this site.
I hope you find Roommate Expert useful. Please comment on the articles. Your opinions and experiences will benefit other readers, as well as myself!
My story
After getting divorced, a horrible experience that I would not recommend to anyone. I was very fortunate that one of my best friends I have known since I was ten years old was looking for a roommate.
His spare room in his apartment was not what I would have chosen. Tiny, looking onto a train track, in a building that shook as they want past. But being a roommate with a friend was an amazing healing experience.
We watched tv together and created a great safe space. Every couple of years we argued about something, but then it was gone within a few hours.
Yes, he never cleaned up or did the dishes, the only solution was to get a cleaning maid, and he paid. As my roommate, he created so much material for this website.
Being a bit of an extrovert and needing to be with other people. If I’m on my own for more than 36 hours, I get depressed.
Then get so desperate, which leads me into relationships that are not the best choice, as I need one now.
So being a roommate saved me from the expense and difficulty of rushing into bad relationships. Not just for myself, but for the poor unfortunate people who would also suffer from this behavior.
We both found girlfriends and this period enabled us to make the choices of new partners slowly and carefully.
I also know other people who have had similar experiences, when they’ve found nice people to be roommates.
I believe having roommates is one of the best ways to prevent loneliness
I believe that having roommates is one of the best ways to prevent loneliness.
So many people I know live on their own. Fine of course, although many would like to have a partner. Many are lonely.
Loneliness, one of the biggest problems in society today!
Having a roommate can be a benefit to those in need of company and don’t want to feel isolated.
I ask so many people why they do not have a roommate, especially those with a spare room. It would cure them of their loneliness, bring in some money, or reduce their rent costs.
They make sure they do a social thing every couple of days so that they don’t get too lonely. This causes stress, uses up time, energy, and it’s not always possible to organize something to do with someone else every day or so.
As they are so lonely, they are desperate to get into a relationship. This rush makes them choose the wrong partner.
Why some people live on their own and say they are lonely, when a roommate would help
Most people say no to getting a roommate unless it is because they cannot afford their own place. Something that I don’t understand.
To me it seems to be that the older a single person gets, the less they want to have a roommate, but the more they feel alone. It seems to be a status symbol to have their own place and think it looks weird for an older person to share an apartment.
A bit like how they might say their first job was working as a waiter or waitress in a restaurant, but they have gotten past doing those kinds of jobs.
For people over 40, it can be hard to get a roommate, because most of the other people looking for a roommate are younger and looking for roommates of their age. Having a roommate is a social experience.
I’m not saying that a person who has a hard time looking after themselves (whether for health or other reasons) should start looking for roommates.
A roommate search is hard enough by itself: finding a suitable person, going through loads of interviews, persistent no-shows, meeting scores of wrong people before the right one arrives. It’s almost like dating.
People who feel lonely, and are independent enough to do it, could benefit.
Sure, if someone is more introverted, they may prefer being on their own in their own place. But for more extroverted people, what about the loneliness which is a massive problem of our time…
Loneliness has been linked to depression and shown to have a negative effect on affected people’s health.
Not saying I have the answers, but just something I don’t understand.